Thoreau, Seereer and Buddhist Philosophy

 

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life and see if I could learn what they had to teach; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." - Henry David Thoreau 

I purposefully wrote this quote on the first page of my journal well in advance of departing for Africa.  I thought that it would be better to see this piece of wisdom each time I open it rather than the terrified ramblings of my first day, sleep deprived, homesick self.  Today is day 13 in Africa and I can’t begin to explain how long that feels.  Thus far I have laughed, cried, danced, spoken various amounts of 4 languages, read 1 book, received an African Name (Mbay Ngome), used a squat toilet, taken a bucket bath, been yelled at for not greeting my home stay aunt, received 5 vaccines, and… etc… Suffice it to say there has been a lot of activity these past two weeks. 

Now for some specifics:  I am studying Seereer which is a native African language spoken mostly in the river delta area of Senegal.  Contrary to what you may read on some Pular’s blogs the Seereers are not slaves to the Pulars.  They are our slaves and we are their kings.  Trust me this exchange in quite common in Senegal and not the least bit racist.  I am living in the small village of Ngoudiane, which is about 45 min outside of Thies.  I live in a compound with 4 families and about 30 people.  Things are busy as you might guess.  I have my own room with a lock and bars on my window, which is nice for the security of my stuff, although I feel a bit like an animal in a cage sometimes.  My mother’s name is Y Nogoye and my father’s name is Ba Mordu.  I have three brothers and three sisters and sooo many cousins and aunts and uncles.  My fellow PCT Lauren lives in the same compound and by Senegalese definitions of family, she is my sister.  Family in Senegal is big, very big.  Beyond the fact that men can have up to four wives, the restrictions of who can be considered family are much looser than in the states so families are huge.  Also in Senegalese culture the children of my brothers are technically my children, so I believe some congratulations are in order.  Yep that’s right I’m a baby daddy in Senegal. 

As for the day to day, most of my days start at 5am with a wake up call from my friendly neighborhood Mosque: I stash some earplugs under my pillow, which I pop in when the call to prayer starts so I can sleep another couple hours.  I finally get up at around 7:45 and take a very refreshing bucket bath.  Don’t feel sorry for me with this one, bucket baths are great.  Basically it’s just a really efficient way to take a bath.  Breakfast consists of bread with butter and Nescafe with powdered milk and sugar.  My family is fasting for Ramadan so I hide in my room and eat by myself.  After breakfast its language class with my LCF (Language and cross cultural facilitator) Asan.  Three hours later it is too hot to think so we go home for lunch (leftover’s from dinner) and then I take a very sweaty nap.  At around three thirty its time for more language and by 5:30 our brains are exhausted so we go home to sit around until we break the fast at sundown.   Breaking the fast is one of my favorite times of the day.  Everyone is happy and the food is usually great.  One day we had egg sandwiches and dates.  Mmmm… Dinner is almost always malo for lip: rice with fish.  If you’ve been reading carefully you will realize that this means I also eat rice with fish for lunch too.  I’m kinda over the rice with fish.  After dinner we sit and talk (talking by my definition means saying anything successfully in Seereer) and then I go to bed.  I usually don’t really go to bed.  I go into my room and enjoy some solitude with text messages from home and a book.  Then sleep.  That’s my typical day at my home stay site. 

There are too many other random things to talk about; I already have more than I can possibly explain here.  We started building a community garden to practice our technical training and I sweated more than I thought was physically possible: I watched my brother kill two chickens by slowly cutting their necks with a sickeningly dull knife which, while sad, made for a delicious dinner that night: I experienced pure and utter joy when I returned to Thies and was able to speak English and have a cold beer, and I had the high point of my two weeks here, a 30 min video skype conversation with Hannah. 

Lets see I was meaning to write something profound in this post… well here’s my two cents.  I’ve been having a hard time with many things here, mostly the homesickness and the weight of this two-year commitment.  In many ways I feel like I’m not the right person to do this work.  I feel like I’ll always be focused elsewhere and looking forward to the end of this experience.  Right now I want the results of service: knowing the language, having had an adventure, and going home to my life and loved ones in America, and that isn’t going to cut it.  These two years are going to be miserable if I’m only looking forward to the end.  I need to find a way to live in the moment and place my happiness here rather than there.  Thank you Buddhism.  That’s the profound thought I’ve been having.  As hard as everything is I need to start enjoying my life now instead of putting off enjoyment until, the end of PST, or once I’m fluent in the language, or once I’ve made a difference, or when I get back.  Life can only be lived now.  Speaking of making a difference, there is so much work to be done in this country.  If I can put my personal problems aside and focus on the work, I might be able to accomplish something after all.  It’s hard to describe how intimidating that is though.  The amount of work that I have to do and the lists of things I need to learn seem endless.   One step at a time.  That’s all I can do. 

Thanks for all the letters and emails.  They help a lot.  Keep um comin! :-)  By the way I am keeping track, and Grandma is way in the lead.