Paradigm Shift

Peace Corps Volunteers are strange.  Let me elaborate.  As you have no doubt heard we go to the ends of the earth to parasite and disease infested lands where we learn tribal languages and talk about bodily functions far too openly regardless of the circumstances, and constantly fantasize about all things food and drink related.  But this isn’t why we’re strange.  I could just as easily have been describing the peculiarities of fraternity life.  No Peace Corps Volunteers are strange for an even more bizarre reason but I’ll get to that in a minute.  First a story.

Once upon a time this bright young lad named Garrison went to study with the Nobel Peace Prize nominated Theatre visionary Augusto Boal.  Garrison was intrigued by Boal’s techniques for using theatre for third world development work so he thought that, as a natural step after college, he might join the Peace Corps to give it a try.  Now after several grant projects investigating Boal’s techniques and a show at the SF Fringe Festival in his style, Garrison felt fairly qualified to do this… Welcome to the Peace Corps Garrison. “Wow this is really going to happen,” he thought.  You will be studying a minority language called Serere spoken only in rural villages in the delta region.  “Okay this shouldn’t hinder me doing theatre locally right?” He hoped.  We’re having a girls’ camp in the region and we would love to have some help doing skits “Fantastic let me talk to everyone putting this on and show them that theatre can be so much more than skits” He pleaded.  Well there are too many people helping at the camp so how about you just work with the girls for an hour on the first day and then for an hour right before they present their skits on the last day.  Oh yeah and you can’t lead the sessions in Serere.  Does that sound good?  Meanwhile the girls will be working every day for an hour and a half on their skits.  “Well I guess I can do some games or something” he sighed.  Perfect people love theatre games; they’re so fun and won’t get in the way and take time away from the important work.

… cringe…

I don’t really know what I expected.  It’s hard enough getting theatre people to understand the benefits of Boal’s work let alone PCV’s with every background under the sun.  I was still more than a little disappointed though when the planning meeting for the girl’s camp made it quite clear that my skills were neither wanted nor necessary.  As strange as it sounds to me I don’t know that I will be doing any theatre whatsoever during my service in the Peace Corps. 

So get to the point, why are PCV’s so strange?  Hold up, more about me first.  My service is shifting.  I see now that the things that got me into the Peace Corps aren’t necessarily going to be the things that keep me here.  My service is simply not lending itself to exploring Theatre for development work.  I am overwhelmed by projects, all of which are too legitimately needed for me to justify taking away my attention to pursue something else out of personal curiosity.  There is certainly a part of me that’s just avoiding the work because it’s hard.  Excuses are wonderful express routes to the easy track.  Even so I stand by the work that I am doing and I simply can’t justify going out of my way to pursue something else… even if it’s pure gold for grad school applications… 

This is how we are weird.  Not only are we in the most absurd situations, but every decision we make comes down to trying to get the most, not for ourselves but for someone else.  Everything is about how much impact I can have on my village, how much I can increase their food security, how much I can help reduce the labor for the women’s group how much I can increase their overall level of sanitation etc… It’s quite a paradigm shift.  Now let me stop you before you start thinking that we’re little altruistic angels, cause we’re not.  This shift is a normal product of our situation.  The Peace Corps yardstick by which we measure our self worth and success just happens to be based on how much we help other people.  Different situation different yardstick.  So don’t go comparing apples and oranges saying we’re so delicious and you’re so bitter, although we are rather delicious, but that a topic for another time.    Still though it is a strange shift to have one’s sense of self worth so completely wrapped up in other people’s wellbeing and success.  Maybe this is what it feels like to be a parent… or a grown up…  or a human… or a walrus… I don’t know. 

The point is things are shifting for me and it’s making me think about all those pesky big life questions.  Should I pursue international development work after PC?  Can I justify just becoming a professional actor? Where am I really going to be able to have an impact?  Luckily I’m also reading the Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s series right now so I know not to take any of these questions too seriously.  The Earth will probably end up blowing up regardless of what I think. 

Living up to the title of this blog, this post took on some serious thoughts of one PCV in such a way that hopefully you walk away with only a slight feeling of discomfort, which will ultimately turn out to be completely unrelated and will go away shortly after a few more hours of digestion. 

…see what I mean?  Way too much Douglas Adams right now :-)

Cheers,

Garrison 

P.S. In the spirit of non-bitterness here is the link to the girls’ leadership camp fundraising page.  It is still going to be a really valuable experience for all involved, so do chip in if you have a few bucks to spare. 

https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=685-163