I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how I would start
this letter and as you can probably see by this cliché introspective first
sentence I still don’t really know what to say, which is telling of my current
state of mind. How does one some
up 2 years of service in a few simple pages? There are plenty of things I want to say, some things better
left unsaid and some things words simply cannot express. Seeing as my primary audience is the
new Ag stage though I’ll focus on practical advice and inspirational
anecdotes. But first a little
about me!
My name is Garrison Harward and I am a SusAg. There we go, now we’re off the
ground. I joined Peace Corps
immediately after graduating from a small State University with a degree in
Musical Theatre. Yes that’s right
I turned down countless job options, and pushed aside my dreams of fame and
fortune to join the Peace Corps.
It was a truly selfless act.
In all seriousness though I thought Peace Corps would be a good
transitional option after college to get some much needed professional
experience, do a little good, and kill time while my girlfriend finished
school. It turned out to be great
for all of those things and so many more.
When I got here I was the very essence of forward thinking
academic liberal. I mean that with
the utmost spite and distain. Its not that my views have really changed,
they’ve just sort of matured. I
recently dug up my old aspiration statement and found this:
“I know that the Peace Corps will change the way
that I view the world. I hope that
it teaches me in a practical way some things that I already know: that I can
live with less, and that communities and families are valuable and important. I hope that it will also surprise me
and make me realize what I cannot even think to include now.”
I agree with all of those things but its hard not to laugh
at the naive idealism of the person who wrote that. I think often times in life we go searching for the profound
experience all the while forgetting that profundity is a byproduct to be earned
not something that can be sought outright. That’s if we want real experiences that is. There are plenty of ways to feel like
we’re saving poor starving Africa while learning brilliant truths forgotten by
evil modern capitalists, and that’s certainly what most people back home think,
but that’s not why we’re here. It
may have been the reason we joined but in the face of the realities here that
pursuit is sort of like Disneyland development, fun but utterly artificial and
in the end not practical. So what
to do in the face of reality? Get
dirty!
We’re Ag volunteers so when all else fails, when the
complexities of the work, and the people, and the situation overwhelms just do
what we do best, put your hands in the dirt and dig. This may sound flippant but it’s actually some of the best
advice I can give. Sort of like
Dorry in Finding Nemo, just keep digging.
You won’t get to China but people will respect your work ethic, become
curious about your techniques and eventually understand what you’re trying to
do. Notice I said eventually. In the idealistic vision of development
you the wise PCV teach the eager local amazing new techniques and they triple
their yields and feed their family sustainably for the first time… You hero,
them grateful, mom proud. That CAN
happen but most of the time it’s not so simple. Most of the time you do the same thing over and over for 2
years until you finally find the right way to explain it, or the result from
your demo is finally visible enough that people start to adopt whatever it is
you’re trying to teach and then you leave.
Behavior change is complicated and even though you’re coming
out of PST with all these amazing techniques and knowledge it is unfortunately
not enough to be right. Plenty of
people throughout the years with a lot more money and resources then Peace
Corps have been right and failed the developing world miserably. Far from discouraging you though this
fact should be a source of inspiration.
Why you may ask? Because
you can succeed where others have failed.
The development world has tried throwing money at the problem with mixed
results at best. Peace Corps
throws people. Results may vary
but the potential is there for real sustainable growth and knowledge
exchange.
The temptation is going to be there to fight the Peace Corps
model, don’t. It feels great to
finish some big project that gives your village this that or the other, but
most of those projects feel better then they really are. Our greatest asset as volunteers is not
money or resources but rather time.
We have the time, unlike almost every other organization in the world,
to really sit and watch, to see a problem from every direction before we
presume to know how to solve it.
Yes this is excruciating, and yes it is also brilliantly contradictory
to my “just keep digging” advice earlier.
It is and it isn’t. Time
plus effort equals more opportunity for failure and learning. Where the big organizations fail and
move on, we fail and stay. Sounds
fun doesn’t it. Being here I’ve
come to appreciate though not just the usefulness of failure, but its utter
necessity as a precursor to real progress. Don’t avoid failure, run at it with reckless abandon because
only by failing to achieve better yields with double dug beds, or neem
solution, or compost or whatever can you learn the necessary modifications that
need to be made to these techniques to combine them with, rather than simply
ignoring, the wisdom of local knowledge.
People here are incredibly smart and they have good reasons behind
almost everything they do. Embrace
that rather than fighting it and you will find the magic key that allows people
to adopt your “improved” techniques.
Fight it and you will be miserable for two years and end up resenting
the very people you came here to help.
Just FYI I paused during that last sentence to kill a mouse. The profound and the mundane in one
instant. That is the essence of the Peace Corps.
In the end it’s about process over product. The volunteer who extends seed to 100
farmers is not necessarily better then the one who extends to 10. There have been many great
volunteers who never wrote a single grant in their entire service. There is no cookie cutter way to be a
good volunteer or make a difference.
It’s about really getting to know your village and being willing to put
aside your personal desire to feel helpful in order to really have an impact.
It sounds counterintuitive and it is, which is why so many charity
organizations stifle developing countries rather than really helping them.
Don’t even get me started about Tom’s shoes… This harkens back to my current
feelings of distain toward forward thinking liberals. The road to hell as they say is paved with good
intentions. In other words
before you dig a well or build latrines or buy seed for a women’s group find
out why they couldn’t do it on their own and how they’ll do it when you’re
gone. If you can’t find the
answers to these questions consider working on something else. Peace Corps isn’t about making you feel
good.
Now if it sounds like you have to be a saint to be a good
volunteer you don’t. This advice
is coming from the many times I have failed to live up to these standards. Two years is short and many times I
have forgone sustainability in order to simply get things done that I knew
would be beneficial for my village.
It’s not about being perfect but rather striving to be better. Perfection is an illusion but by always
trying to improve we achieve much more then the cynics would have us believe is
possible.
One of the greatest things that I’ve learned during my two
short years here is that there’s nothing new under the sun. All of this questioning we inevitably
indulge in stuck alone in our huts is the same questioning humans have engaged
in since the dawn of time.
Happiness, meaning, wisdom, its all been figured out. No unfortunately I cannot give you the
answers here and even if I could I wouldn’t. The process of life is just that. Each and every one of us has to go through challenges,
failures, successes, happiness, depression, frustration, inspiration, love,
hate, all of it in order to truly learn about and understand this funny thing
we call life. Or Peace Corps for
that matter. The good and the bad,
its all useful because it is within the conflicts and questioning that we find
truth.
You may be thinking great that’s all well and good but where
is that useful practical advice and anecdotes you promised? Yes I did say that didn’t I. Sorry I tend to lean towards the
theoretical. In practical terms
take it one day at a time. That
isn’t a cliché here. Peace Corps
service can be a lot of waiting and hoping and wishing for anything other then
what is directly in front of you.
If you can learn to live in the current moment, even if that’s a 6 hour
Alhum ride in the blazing sun or finding a way to say goodbye to your beloved
family after two years, and be content to deal with things as they come and not
wish for them to be different, then you will not only find happiness here but
will also become more successful and influential then the big guys could ever
hope to be. Don’t worry though you
don’t have to get it right the first time, and its better if you don’t. Just
keep digging.
