Separation and Connection

What can I say on the subject of separation?  Well I’ve become quite accustomed to that concept as of late.  At first it was a sharp pain of losing so much so quickly.  That eased into a dull ache only really noticeable in moments of isolation.  Now everything just feels far away.  I have never felt so far away from America, my culture, my family and friends, and who I thought I was.  Every day makes it harder and harder to communicate this experience to anyone back home and at the same time makes me less sure of everything I thought I knew about the world around me and indeed myself as well.  I used to think I knew what 3^rd world countries needed, I used to think I knew what was right and wrong (now I yell at poor African children who are rude to me), I used to think capitalism with its big corporations was evil, I used to think I knew who I was with my strengths and weaknesses, I used to think I knew my family and my relationship with them.  Everything is up in the air now.  I skype with people back home and answer the same questions about how “Africa” is like I’m some sort of authority on the continent now.  I browse Facebook and see my friends continuing on in their lives as I get farther and farther away from them.  I read my hometown newspaper and magazine and realize that my small town is changing more than ever and I’m somehow completely disconnected from it.  I work on project after project that may have no lasting effect whatsoever on my community, who often times seems to see me only as a strange foreigner who might be able to get them some free stuff.  And then I sit in a little grass hut in my village close the door and am completely alone with me myself and I.

Gross!  Okay catharsis achieved, pity party over, melancholic state averted.  In the words of Shakespeare, oh yeah I am that pretentious ;-), “Sweet are the uses of adversity” and that certainly holds true here.   Such utter separation and isolation has the unique benefit of tying together those who suffer the same pains.  Peace Corps relationships burn fast and bright.  We come together forget our troubles put on music and just enjoy life.  I think I’m better now than I used to be at recognizing those moments when I’m happy and just going with it.  The big problems can never be solved in the present moment so if you find yourself being happy why ruin it by worrying about something.  Time for me to go.  Someone’s shaving their head and that is much more amusing than worrying about all this big crap.

Cheers,

Garrison

Development Work... Dun Dun DUUUUUHN

There seems to come a point in every Peace Corps volunteer’s service (at least in Senegal that is) where they question whether or not we should be doing this at all.  That’s rather vague isn’t it?  Let me clarify.  The “we” is westerners and the ‘this’ is development work in Africa.  At first glance the answers seem so clear and usually include any number of complex arguments such as “Duh”, “Of course”, or “What are you racist or something”.   Yes development work seems so simple and righteous; I’m here to tell you that it isn’t.  Yes today is my day and I am quite disheartened. 

I’ve been writing this post in my head for most of the day and I must say you are lucky to be reading this version.  The previous ones, pondered in the heat of my frustration, weren’t exactly family friendly.  In any case I’ve cooled down some so perhaps I can say a few intelligent things on the subject.  Back story time! I’ve been working with a welder in Toubacouta to make very simple rope pumps for wells in my area.  The design is wonderfully cheap, easily repairable, and efficient. I have so far installed one pump in my village and it works wonderfully.  Long story short the pumps have promise.  There is a women’s group with whom I work very closely and they were slated to get the next two pumps.  They have two wells and 6 basins and the plan was to put one pump on each well to help fill the basins.  These would only cover half of each well leaving the rest open for people to pull water with a bucket for watering close to the well or to fill the basins if the pump breaks down.   The most important part of this plan though was that the women’s group would contribute roughly 30% to the total cost of the pump.  This way they would take ownership of it and have more of an incentive to maintain it.  So why all the was and were and would you may ask?  Well unbeknownst to me some American study abroad students from Dakar took it upon themselves to “Help” the poor people of my area by raising money from the States to buy 4 pumps for the group along with about 50 watering cans and 4 extra basins with absolutely zero village contribution. 

Where do I begin?   First I take a breath because just reading that again makes my blood boil.  So yes what’s the big deal?  They’re helping people right?  Africa is poor its great to come in and give it lots of stuff and money right?  White people are angels and gods and lets all worship them because we could never do anything on our own?  Ok that one went a little far, but you catch my drift.  Here’s what upsets me about this situation and it isn’t that they stole my project, although they did.  These kids come in and want to do something good and useful: that’s fine good for them, but they have absolutely no idea what they are doing and in the process are not only doing something that is utterly unnecessary and redundant, but they’re doing it in a way that is actually harmful to the overall development of the village.  Yes that’s right, bad development work isn’t just annoying it’s harmful.  Think about that next time your friend tries to convince you to write a check to some “wonderful” NGO. 

Let me explain myself.  These students are putting in two pumps per well making the pumps the only way that anyone can pull water.  There will no longer be any room to pull water the traditional way with a rope and bucket.  This means that should the pumps break down there is absolutely no way to water the fields.  This could mean total crop failure and massive loss of income.  Had the students taken the time to get to know the women’s group they would have learned that they are sponsored by PISA, an Italian development organization, and that PISA is planning on putting in two more wells and several other basins.  With these students putting in basins as well this could at the very least muck up the organization of the site and at worst take away PISA’s justification to add more wells.   The current two wells are old; I give them 5 years tops before they need massive repairs.  Two extra wells would be far more valuable than just pimping out the current ones and adding extra basins.    

I find myself now in a really odd position and I don’t like it.  The right thing to do is to put on the breaks and at most install one pump per well and hold off completely on extra basins.  This way PISA could come in and install their wells and basins and then we could install the remaining two pumps.  This is the right thing to do but no one is going to want to do it, and if I push the issue I’m going to burn bridges.  If I do nothing though and the pumps cause problems for the group then this threatens to poison the well, so to speak, for my very large project of 52 rope pumps that I am about to launch with another volunteer.  Regardless of how these 4 pumps turn out it’s going to be very difficult for me to convince other groups to contribute to the cost of the pumps when these first ones were given as gifts. 

Worry not there’s icing on this cake.  These students want to start their own NGO in the states that installs rope pumps in Senegal.  They have known about this technology for all of one day and they think they’re ready to take people’s money in the name of developing the poor villages of Senegal and facilitate installation through their friend while they sit comfortably in America.  Hold on I need to go vomit.  Ok I’m back.  I probably sound pretty harsh right now but I just can’t stand this kind of development.  Everyone wants to be a hero.  Raising money for someone else’s organization lacks glory I suppose so people decide to go it alone when they are absolutely unqualified to do so.  Where’s the plan for follow up to make sure the pumps are functioning and being used correctly, where’s the supplemental training to help increase agricultural production and teach IPM and pesticide safety (yes water pumps enable greater production which thereby encourages pesticide use and the people here have no idea how to apply them safely), where’s the selection system to make sure that pumps are getting to those who really need them and not just those who have friends in the right places, where’s the impact evaluation to ensure that the results of the pumps are recorded and available to the greater development community, and where’s the respect for the dignity of the Senegalese people who deserve more than gifts from guilt ridden upper middle class Americans who would rather write a check and feel like a hero then humbly work with someone to enable them to succeed on their own. 

On the whole Americans have absolutely no idea how to do development work.  We want quick fixes so we throw massive amounts of money and resources at problems, which only serves to create an atmosphere of dependence and subservience from third world countries.  They deserve better.  All the while we idolize those who give, knowing very little of whether or not their gifts are making any sort of a difference.  Take Greg Mortenson for example.  Building schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan sounds wonderful and it has earned him millions of dollars and three Nobel Peace Prize nominations.  Low and behold he’s one of the worst development workers in the world.  He drops off schools with almost no knowledge of the local village dynamics and zero collaboration with local governments and is somehow surprised when the schools aren’t being used.  The drop and go method of development looks great on paper.  It enables NGO’s to up their numbers as quickly as possible, netting them massive donations, but lacks any long term impact.  This isn’t just inefficient it’s immoral.  Taking someone else’s hard earned money and wasting it while claiming moral superiority and near saintly status is incredibly wrong.   

Quite a rant huh?  My biggest fear though is that I’m not any different.  Am I in this to truly help people or am I in it just to feel like a good person.  Why me? There are Senegalese NGO’s that could probably do my job cheaper and more effectively and with more dignity for the villages they serve.  So why me? Everyone wants their piece of the glory and I would be lying to say that I’m any different.  I want to feel like I’m making a difference.  I have to have faith though that my stay here is a net positive for the village.  I try to be a catalyst for them to take action rather than just give them things.  Maybe I’ll succeed and maybe I won’t.  I honestly can’t say.  What’s important I think though is to keep questioning.  Development work is not as simple as it appears and as much as we would like to be heroes, doing so at the expense of true progress is selfish.  There is too much work to do to waste time and money on heroics.  Save it for the movies.  Back to village for me… 

Hut Tour

Tax Season

Well seeing as how this is tax season and that can be a bit stressful, I thought that I would take a few minutes to ease the pain and make parting ways with that hard earned cash a little easier.  The US Government is indeed massive and truth be told there are all manner of things nasty and vile that it does with our tax money.  This is not news though however much the national networks may like to spin it to the left or right.  The propaganda can be enough to make you break out your NRA card and call up the old militia buddies for a nice tea party, or depending on your inclination brush up on your communist manifesto before a peace and freedom party rally against the evils of cutting down a single tree on public property.  I don't care if you're a Democrat, Republican, Communist, or Fascist, the government will use your money for things that you don't like and that can indeed be a hard pill to swallow.  

But just wait!  I'm here to remind you that despite all the bickering and propaganda, your tax dollars also go to some pretty great things.  Many Americans have never even heard of USAID but I see them all the time here and I am so incredibly proud every time I see their logo "USAID From the American People".  They're in Senegal, they're in my local community, and they're funded by you. 

 

I bet you didn't know that you built a fully equipped school with wifi and computers in a rural village outside Kaolack.

 

Or that now its being used to hold health training to stop the spread of HIV/AIDS in Senegal.  And while that's all well and good your money is also going to support something even more amazing and innovative and quite good looking I might add....

Me!  Peace Corps is a government agency and we only exist because of you all and your lovely lovely money.  Seeing as how you're paying me let me justify my existence just a bit. 

I am standing behind one of David Campbell's rope pumps and I'm about to install it in my village. 

First things first I have to cast a half well cap in cement for the pump to sit on. 

Almost done...

And there she is.  The cement needs about a week before we can finish the install and then my village will have a lovely rope pump.  Hmmm... one rope pump is nice... I guess.... but it doesn't really solve anything and certainly won't last forever. 

Let me introduce Lamine Gin.  He is a welder in Toubacouta who will be helping me to make a lot more rope pumps.  26 to be exact.  My friend Marcie down in Kolda is also doing 26 pumps so together we will be doing a total of 52 pumps.  We've partnered with Appropriate Projects, and NGO back in the states, to purchase all the pumps and install one every week for the next year.  We officially kick off the project on May 1st Inshaallah.  We'll be keeping a blog as we go, with entries every week about the villages and people benefiting from the pumps and how you can help!  I'll post more on that as the date approaches. 

We went to my neighboring village to check out some pumps that an NGO had brought in.  They're good but they're really expensive and not made locally.  Thus they are useful for a while but not sustainable. 

This is Lamine with the beginnings of his pump.  It will be much simpler and cheaper and a whole lot more sustainable since he will be around as a pump producer and technician long after I'm gone.  This project "52 Pumps in 52 Weeks" will probably be one of the biggest of my service.  I'm sure that it will cause me a lot of headaches but hopefully with enough Advil I'll make it through the year and then I'll have finally done something worthy of the insane things people say in regards to my good character and whatnot.  Joining the Peace Corps is like getting a huge credit line increase on your strength of character.  You can keep raking up the charges even if you ain't got the goods.  Well time to dig my heals in and pay my debts.  I suggest y'all do the same and get those taxes done so, you know, I don't starve over here or something.  And also so that the US Government never has to consider cutting foreign aide for development even in this tough economy. 

Cheers,
Garrison

Paradigm Shift

Peace Corps Volunteers are strange.  Let me elaborate.  As you have no doubt heard we go to the ends of the earth to parasite and disease infested lands where we learn tribal languages and talk about bodily functions far too openly regardless of the circumstances, and constantly fantasize about all things food and drink related.  But this isn’t why we’re strange.  I could just as easily have been describing the peculiarities of fraternity life.  No Peace Corps Volunteers are strange for an even more bizarre reason but I’ll get to that in a minute.  First a story.

Once upon a time this bright young lad named Garrison went to study with the Nobel Peace Prize nominated Theatre visionary Augusto Boal.  Garrison was intrigued by Boal’s techniques for using theatre for third world development work so he thought that, as a natural step after college, he might join the Peace Corps to give it a try.  Now after several grant projects investigating Boal’s techniques and a show at the SF Fringe Festival in his style, Garrison felt fairly qualified to do this… Welcome to the Peace Corps Garrison. “Wow this is really going to happen,” he thought.  You will be studying a minority language called Serere spoken only in rural villages in the delta region.  “Okay this shouldn’t hinder me doing theatre locally right?” He hoped.  We’re having a girls’ camp in the region and we would love to have some help doing skits “Fantastic let me talk to everyone putting this on and show them that theatre can be so much more than skits” He pleaded.  Well there are too many people helping at the camp so how about you just work with the girls for an hour on the first day and then for an hour right before they present their skits on the last day.  Oh yeah and you can’t lead the sessions in Serere.  Does that sound good?  Meanwhile the girls will be working every day for an hour and a half on their skits.  “Well I guess I can do some games or something” he sighed.  Perfect people love theatre games; they’re so fun and won’t get in the way and take time away from the important work.

… cringe…

I don’t really know what I expected.  It’s hard enough getting theatre people to understand the benefits of Boal’s work let alone PCV’s with every background under the sun.  I was still more than a little disappointed though when the planning meeting for the girl’s camp made it quite clear that my skills were neither wanted nor necessary.  As strange as it sounds to me I don’t know that I will be doing any theatre whatsoever during my service in the Peace Corps. 

So get to the point, why are PCV’s so strange?  Hold up, more about me first.  My service is shifting.  I see now that the things that got me into the Peace Corps aren’t necessarily going to be the things that keep me here.  My service is simply not lending itself to exploring Theatre for development work.  I am overwhelmed by projects, all of which are too legitimately needed for me to justify taking away my attention to pursue something else out of personal curiosity.  There is certainly a part of me that’s just avoiding the work because it’s hard.  Excuses are wonderful express routes to the easy track.  Even so I stand by the work that I am doing and I simply can’t justify going out of my way to pursue something else… even if it’s pure gold for grad school applications… 

This is how we are weird.  Not only are we in the most absurd situations, but every decision we make comes down to trying to get the most, not for ourselves but for someone else.  Everything is about how much impact I can have on my village, how much I can increase their food security, how much I can help reduce the labor for the women’s group how much I can increase their overall level of sanitation etc… It’s quite a paradigm shift.  Now let me stop you before you start thinking that we’re little altruistic angels, cause we’re not.  This shift is a normal product of our situation.  The Peace Corps yardstick by which we measure our self worth and success just happens to be based on how much we help other people.  Different situation different yardstick.  So don’t go comparing apples and oranges saying we’re so delicious and you’re so bitter, although we are rather delicious, but that a topic for another time.    Still though it is a strange shift to have one’s sense of self worth so completely wrapped up in other people’s wellbeing and success.  Maybe this is what it feels like to be a parent… or a grown up…  or a human… or a walrus… I don’t know. 

The point is things are shifting for me and it’s making me think about all those pesky big life questions.  Should I pursue international development work after PC?  Can I justify just becoming a professional actor? Where am I really going to be able to have an impact?  Luckily I’m also reading the Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s series right now so I know not to take any of these questions too seriously.  The Earth will probably end up blowing up regardless of what I think. 

Living up to the title of this blog, this post took on some serious thoughts of one PCV in such a way that hopefully you walk away with only a slight feeling of discomfort, which will ultimately turn out to be completely unrelated and will go away shortly after a few more hours of digestion. 

…see what I mean?  Way too much Douglas Adams right now :-)

Cheers,

Garrison 

P.S. In the spirit of non-bitterness here is the link to the girls’ leadership camp fundraising page.  It is still going to be a really valuable experience for all involved, so do chip in if you have a few bucks to spare. 

https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=685-163

Welcome to Peace Corps Senegal!

This one's for you new stage.  Welcome to the wonderful land we call Senegal.  Before you get your hopes up too much let me give you some bad news: no zebras, no giraffes, no wildebeests, no cheetahs, no elephants.  If you're in the delta region we have hyenas but you will never see them.  If you're down in Kedougou apparently there are lions... but no one ever sees them either.  But if you're in Kolda you might see a hippo.  Yes you are going to Africa but it is not the Africa that most people think of.  Welcome to Senegal's Africa

Here in Senegal you can buy the latest appliances from all over the world, including top of the line plasma flat screen televisions. 

Can't live without the latest iPod or Macbook?  Well you're in luck we've got um :-)

You've probably heard horror stories about eating bland meals of rice and fish for your entire service.  Fear not, just pick up a box of name brand cereal at your local mega grocery store.

Ah yes but you're getting here right before the hot season so food isn't really the biggest part of your worries.  When that mercury hits 120 degrees just swing by the American club for a dip in their fabulous pool.

As you can see we are also really up tight here and have zero fun whatsoever. 

And we are always one hundred percent integrated.  No afternoons of softball with pulled pork sandwiches, beer, and relaxing under a giant American Flag tent.  Nope not for us Peace Corps Volunteers.

Is he serious you may ask? Well yes and no.  Dakar will be Dakar but you've caught me being flippant, and while we can vacation to the land of the nice, the reality of life here, much like the latrine above, is a little shittier.  I'm telling you this for two reasons.  First to assuage your parents' and your fears that you may be going to an utterly desolate and poverty stricken third world country.  We always have Dakar!  And also to prepare you for the utter bizarreness of living in a country with such a disparity between the haves and the have-nots. 

Senegal is poor don't get me wrong, but you are not going to a country where people die of starvation or where the population is devastated by AIDS.  The majority of the country functions fairly well.  Albeit usually without the most basic of amenities, but Dakar is a good sign.  You probably won't agree when you get off the plane and drive through Rufisque to Thies, but things here are on the up and up and there is great potential for Senegal to break into a prosperous period of sustained economic growth.  There are cell phone networks all over the country, internet cafes are numerous and reliable, roads are improving, electricity is spotty but expanding none the less, and most importantly more and more people are going to school meaning that Senegal's workforce will soon be able to tackle bigger and better things.  This ain't the Peace Corps of the 70's so fear not parents or significant others, your PCV will not disappear off the face of the earth for two years. 

I've only been in country for about 7 months but this arrival stuff is still fresh in my head so let me offer a few words of advice.  Everyone's experience is different though so take this with a grain of salt.  My first couple of weeks in country were really difficult.  Read my first blog entries, they were down right neurotic.  I missed home like crazy, felt like I would never be able to learn the language, was absolutely terrified of Thies and Dakar and just wanted to go home to my girlfriend.  Top it all off with a feeling that everyone else was adjusting better than I was and I developed a wee bit of a sense of inadequacy.  So first piece of advice: PST is hard so don't make it harder by being hard on yourself.  Cut yourself some extra slack and realize that even if people keep it together on the outside, they all freak out at some point.  Freaking out is beyond perfectly normal.  Talk to your fellow PCT's if you're having a hard time with something, chances are they're going through it too.  We're a family here, don't forget that.  Second piece of advice: the language will come.  Every single person in Peace Corps Senegal passes their language exam by the end of PST.  Study but don't stress about it.  Third piece of advice: Your CBT site family is not your family for the rest of your service.  You are allowed to make mistakes with them.  Most of them have had volunteers before and they have seen it all believe me.  Go ahead and butcher their language, forget their names, hide in your room because you don't want to talk to them, cross some unspoken cultural boundary, do it all.  This is the one time here where you truly get a free pass.  You get to make the right first impression with your real family so don't worry about this one. 

Now let's talk about something taboo... ETing (Early Terminating).  Yes if things get too much you can call it quits at any time, pack up and go back to America.  Three people did it in my stage during PST.  Yes it is an option, but please don't do it.  You may feel like you can't do this, that two years is just too much.  I am here to tell you though that yes you can do it.  I have never met you but I know that this is the truth.  Peace Corps selected you so trust that you are qualified enough even when, inevitably, you feel like they made a mistake and that you are absolutely incompetent.  You can do this!  We are a family and we will support you through thick and thin.  This is a two way street though and we need you.  Many times current volunteers fill out requests to set up new sites so that they will have a Health or EE volunteer with whom to collaborate.  I can't tell you how disappointed my sub region would be if our health volunteer never showed up.  Magnify that by 10 and that's how the village will feel if they never get the volunteer they've prepared for.  I don't mean to put extra pressure on y'all, but we need you.  I'm not going to lie, I wanted to go home during PST, but I made a promise to myself that I would stick it out until I got to my real village and now here I am.  PST life is NOT what your life is going to be like for the rest of your service. 

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and its not death, its a village with a family and an incredible two year adventure that will change you for the rest of your life.  Welcome to Senegal my friends.  You're going to do great!

The last day at my CBT site.  You will make it there too!

P.S.  I made the mistake of staying awake on the drive from the airport to Thies.  It's really not worth it.  There is just two much to process and it really isn't the most flattering view of Dakar.  Trust me you are better off sleeping than trying to take it all in and inevitably freaking out.  You'll see Dakar again soon don't worry.  

WAIST - The West African Invitational Softball Tournament

Check out the brand new collection of photos and videos at the right.  They're from this last weekend where Garrison joined virtually every PCV in the region for some good fun, food and softball.  I was on a business trip and was actually able to "drop in" for the weekend.  This picture is of all the Kaolack region PCV's complete with their Tu Tu uniforms.

Bandwidth is precious in Senegal so Garrison asked me to post these for him.

Enjoy, Randy (Dad)